Clinton jokes

Last summer, the President and Mrs. Clinton

were vacationing in their home state of Arkansas. On a venture one
day,
they stopped at a service station to fill up the car with gas.
It
seemed that the owner of the station was once Hillary's high
school love.

They exchanged hellos, and went on their way.

As they were driving on to their destination, Bill put his arm around

Hillary and said, "Well, honey, if you had stayed with him, you
would
be the wife of a service station owner today."

She
smirked and replied, "No, if I had stayed with him, he would be

Q: How can you identify a
computer that
has been in use at the Clinton White House?
A: There is White-out on
the screen.

Q: What's Clinton doing to
make Americans
happy?
A: If you've paid your tax bill and have enough money left
to feed
your family--you're happy.

A bus filled with politicians was
driving
through the
countryside one day, on the campaign trail. The bus
driver,
caught up in the beautiful scenery, loses control and
crashes
into the ditch.

A farmer living nearby hears the horrible crash
and
rushes out to discover the wreckage. Finding the
politicians
he buries them.

The next day, the police come to the farm to
question the
man. "So you buried all the politicians?" asked the
police
officer. "Were they all dead?"

The farmer answered, "Some
said they weren't, but you
know how politicians lie."

Former Vice President Quayle, Speaker of the

House
Gingrich, and President Clinton are traveling in a
car
together in Kansas. A tornado comes along and
whirls them up into the
air and tosses them thousands
of yards away. They all fall into a
daze.

When they come to and extract themselves from
the
vehicle, they realize they're in the fabled Land of Oz.

They decide
to go see the famous Wizard of Oz. The
Wizard is known for granting
people their wishes.

Quayle says, "I'm going to ask the Wizard
for a brain."
Gingrich responds, "I'm going to ask the Wizard for
a heart."

President Clinton to maid: Mam, can you do

something about Hillary's room.
She complains that it's the
ugliest room in the White House. Maid:
Yes,
Mr. President--I'll
remove the mirrors right away.

Why is Chelsea Clinton growing up a

confused child?

Because dad can't keep his pants on and mom wants to
wear
them.

Q: What is the difference between Bill Clinton

and Elvis?
A: Elvis was drafted and served proudly in the
Army.

Q: How is Clinton's
health care reform a
lot like his haircut?
A: It is a lot more expensive than it
looks.

Q: Why were the
Clintonites pushing the
BTU Tax?
A: Because they could spell it.