Dentist jokes

What to do you call an old dentist?
A bit
long in the tooth

Dentist: "You don't need to open your mouth
any
wider. When I pull your tooth I expect to stand outside."

Pardon me for a moment,
please," said the
dentist to the victim, "but before beginning this
work I must have
my drill."
"Good heavens, man!" exclaimed the patient irritably.
"Can't you
pull a tooth without a rehearsal?"

A man went to his dentist because he feels

something wrong in his mouth.
The dentist examines him and says,
"that new upper plate I put in for
you six months ago is eroding.
What have you been eating?"
The man replies, "all I can think of is
that about four months ago my
wife made some asparagus and put some
stuff on it that was delicious
... Hollandaise sauce. I loved it so
much I now put it on everything ---
meat, toast, fish, vegetables,
everything."
"Well," says the dentist, "that's probably the problem.
Hollandaise
sauce is made with lots of lemon juice, which is highly

"Did you get
your money?" ask the wife of
the dentist who had just return from the
delinquent patient's
home.
"Not a cent," growled the dentist, "and worse than that, he
insulted
me, and gnashed my teeth at me!"

What's worse
than having your doctor tell
you that you have VD?
Having your dentist tell you.

Gerald: "Have you ever come across a man who,
at the
slightest touch, caused you to thrill and tremble in every
fiber of your
being?"
Mabel: "Yes, the dentist."

Patient:Do you extract teeth
painlessly?
Dentis: "Not always, the other day I nearly dislocated my
wrist

A patient asked the dentist, if it
wasn't
nasty to be all the day with the hands in someone's mouth.
The
dentist answered "I just think of it as having my hands in their

wallet."

believe that the members of the dental

profession are the only men who can tell a women to open or close her
mouth and
get away with it.