Divorce jokes

Question: What's the
major cause of
divorce?
Answer: Once is not enough.

Q: How many divorced men does it take to screw

in a light bulb?
A: None, the sockets go with the house.

My husband and I divorced over
religious
differences.
He thought he was God, and I didn't.

Q: Why do divorced men get married
again?
A: Bad memory.

Mrs. Caroline Squires of Cincinnati filed for
a divorce from her
husband in 1949 on grounds of desertion. She
testified he'd stepped out
"for a beer" on the Fourth of July, 1917,
and had never come back.

Question: Why is divorce so

expensive?
Answer: Because it's worth it.

A ninety-year-old couple decide
to get a
divorce. They go to the judge and say, "Judge, we want a
divorce."

The judge says, "You've been married 70 years and now you want to
get
a divorce? Why did you wait so long?"
The couple say in
unison, "Well, we wanted to wait until the kids were
dead."

Definition of Divorce: The future tense of

marriage.

A
guy calls up his ex-wife and, disguising
his voice, asks to speak to
himself.

"Sorry, he doesn't
live here anymore, we're divorced!"

Next day, the guy does the
same thing with the same results.

He does this everyday for a week,
and finally his ex-wife realizes who
it is that keeps calling.
"Look, Bozo! We're divorced! Finito! End of
story! When are you going
to get that through your fat head?"

"Oh, I know! I just can't
hear it enough!"

Ruby Alice walked up to
the desk of a
Bowling Green motel and signed the register with the
letter "O."

"Why'd you put that circle down?" asked the clerk.

"Cause Ah
can't write," replied the girl.

"Why don't you sign with an
'X'?" asked the man.

"Ah used to," she answered. "But when Ah
got me a divorce, Ah took
back mah maiden name!"