Elephant jokes

Two elephants jumped off a
cliff.......
BOOM BOOM!

An elephant was walking in a park. With each
step he took, he
squished many little ants. Upset, the ants began
to crawl up on the
elephant -- first his legs and then up all over
his body. When the elephant
started feeling all the little ants on
him, he shook hard, making all the
little ants, except for one, fall
to the ground. As the only ant on the
elephant hung on close to the
elephant's neck, the ones on the ground
began to yell, "Strangle
him!!! Strangle him!!!"

Q: What happened when the elephant sat on

the car?
A: Everyone knows a Mercedes Bends!

It was a boring Sunday afternoon in the
jungle so
the Elephants decided to challenge the Ants to a game of
soccer. The
game was going well with the Elephants beating the Ants ten
goals to nil,
when the Ants gained possession. The Ants' star
player was dribbling
the ball towards the Elephants' goal when the
Elephants' left back
came lumbering towards him.
The elephant trod
on the little ant, killing him instantly. The referee
stopped the
game. "What the hell do you think you're doing? Do you
call that
sportsmanship, killing another player?" The elephant replied,
"Well,

Why did the elephant eat the candle?
He
wanted a light snack!

Why are elephants large, grey and
wrinkly?
Because if they were small round and white, they would be

aspirins.

Why do
elephants live in the
jungle?
Because it's out of the high rent district.

Why do elephants jump across rivers?
So
they won't step on the fish.

Why did the gum cross the road?
Because it
was under the elephants foot.

Why do elephants prefer peanuts to
caviar?
Because they're easier to get at the ballpark.