Face jokes

A woman just back from Arizona was telling her
friends
about the trip.
"When my husband first saw the Grand
Canyon, his face dropped a
mile," she said.
"Why, was he
disappointed with the view?"
"No, he fell over the edge."

Fred's new girlfriend uses such
greasy
lipstick that he has to sprinkle his face with sand to get a
better
grip.

"Mommy, all the kids at school say I'm a

werewolf! Is that true?"
"No, of course not. Now shut up and comb your
face."

Witch: Doctor, I can't help pulling ugly faces.

Doctor: Well there's nothing terrible about that.
Witch: It is
when the people with ugly faces don't like them being
pulled.

Boy: You've
got a face like a million
dollars.
Girl: Have I really?
Boy: Yes ? it's green and wrinkly.

I don't know where you got your face
from,
but i hope you have the receipt.

Q.What do me and a mirror have in common?

A.When we see your face we both crack up!

Teacher: What
a glum face, what would you say
if I came to school with a face like
yours ?
Pupil: I'd be too
polite to mention it !

A little boy came running into the kitchen. "Dad,
dad," he
said, "there's a monster at the door with a really ugly
face."
"Tell him you've already got one," said his father.

Once there was a church that
had a bell that
no one could ring. One day, a boy came and asked the
priest if he
could try. So the boy went up into the tower and ran straight
into
the bell, face-first. The bell tolled loud and clear. The shocked

priest gave him the job. But one Sunday, he ran straight toward the

bell with his face and missed and fell off the tower and died.

"Congregation," the priest said before the assembled masses. "Does

anybody know this boy's name? Because I don't know him, but his face

rings a bell."