Men jokes

Anytime you see a young man open a car door for

his girlfriend, either the car is new or the girlfriend is.

Men don't
get lost; they discover alternative
destinations.

This man says to his friend," I stopped

driving 10 years ago. Now my wife drives and I just sit there and hold

the wheel."

What is the difference between men and
pigs?
Pigs don't turn into men when they drink.

Q: How many Real Men does it take to change a

light bulb?
A: None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.

A neighbor of
mine was bit by a stray rabid
dog. I went to see how he was and found him
writing furiously. I told
him rabies could be cured and he didn't have
to worry about a
will. He said, "Will, what will? I'm making a list
of people I'm
gonna bite."

Q: What do you call a man who marries an old, ugly
and
poor woman?
A: Desperate!

Q: Men will brag that
there are women waiting
by the phone at this very moment for their call.
Who are these
women?
A: Women working at 900 numbers.

Brian was dating
Lorraine and they were very
close. While they were dating he met another
woman named Clearly and
wanted to start dating her but felt that he should
be faithful to
Lorraine. So he continued to date Lorraine. One day
Brian took
Lorraine on a walk in the woods by the river. As they were
walking near
the river Lorraine fell in and was washed away. Brian softly
sang,
"I can see Clearly now, Lorraine has gone..."

Question: How many men does it take to mop the
floor?
Answer: None, it's a women's job.