Military jokes

While practicing autorotations during a

military night training exercise a Huey Cobra screwed up the landing and

landed on the tail rotor. The landing was so hard that it broke off
the
tail boom. However, the chopper fortunately remained upright on
its
skids, sliding down the runway doing 360s.

As the Cobra
slid past the tower, trailing a brilliant shower of
sparks, this
was the radio exchange that took place...

Tower: "Sir, do you
need any assistance?"

Cobra: "I don't know Tower, we ain't done
crashin'
yet."

Following some duty overseas, the officers at
the Fort were
planning a welcome home party and dance for the unit.
Being an all male
combat force, they decided to request coeds from
some of the surrounding
colleges to attend. The Captain called
Vassar and was assured by the
Dean that arrangements could be made to
send over a dozen of their most
trustworthy students.

The
Captain hesitated, then said, "Would it also be possible to send a

dozen or so of the other kind?"

During camouflage training in Louisiana, a
private disguised as
a tree trunk had made a sudden move that was
spotted by a visiting
general.

"You simpleton!" the officer
barked. "Don't you know that by
jumping and yelling the way you did,
you could have endangered the lives of
the entire
company?"

"Yes sir," the solder answered apologetically. "But, if I may say

so, I did stand still when a flock of pigeons used me for target

practice. And I never moved a muscle when a large dog peed on my lower

branches. But When two squirrels ran up my pants leg and I heard the
bigger

Q: Did you hear that it is twice as easy to

train Iraqi fighter pilots?
A: You only have to teach them to
take off.

Q: What's the difference between Aeroflot
and the Scud
Missile ? A: Aeroflot has killed more people.

Two paratrooper
recruits in a
plane:

- Are you crazy, Vasily? You are going to jump without a
parachute.

- Is it mandatory to wear it?

- Sure. It's raining
outside.

The
theatrical manager exclaimed: "Your
last role was magnificent, Mr. Brown.
You enacted so well that
officer wounded on the battlefield. Your
suffering looked very much like
real."

"It was. I've got a large nail in my shoe."

"Well," said the manager, "for heaven's sake leave it in until the

end of the run of the play."

Q: "How many members of the coalition does it

take to screw in a light bulb?"
A: "We are not prepared to
comment on specific numbers at this
time."

Q: What is Iraq's
national bird ?
A:
Duck

Q: How is Saddam like Fred
Flintstone ?

A: Both may look out their windows and see Rubble.