Money jokes

Did you hear about the Wall Street investment

banker who won $10 million in the lottery?
He's so happy that
he's giving some serious thought to paying back
his student loan.

Q:Why did the man put
his money in the
freezer?
A:('He wanted cold hard cash!')

Q: What do you call
counterfeited German
currency?
A: Question marks.

After years of scrimping and saving, a husband
told
his wife the good news:
"Honey, we've finally got enough
money to buy what we started saving
for in 1979."
"You mean a
brand-new Cadillac?" she asked eagerly.
"No," said the husband, "a
1979 Cadillac."

Why shouldn't you carry two half dollars in
your pocket?
Because two halves make a whole (hole), and you could lose
your
money.

How do thunderstorms invest their
money?

-In a combination of liquid assets and frozen assets

A guy noticed that his buddy was troubled and

asked what was wrong.
"Ohhh, it's my girlfriend."
"What's the
problem?"
"When I asked her if she could learn to love me, she asked
me how much
I was willing to spend on her education."

Mother:
Why did you just swallow the money I
gave you ?
Son: Well you did say it was my lunch money !

Why is someone who borrows money but does not

pay it all back like a football player?
Because sometimes he gives
you a quarter back and sometimes a half
back.

What is the quickest way to double your money
?
Fold it in half !