Music jokes

How do you
make a bandstand?
Take away
their chairs

1st
man: "My neighbors were screaming and
yelling at three o'clock this
morning!"
2nd man: "Did they wake
you?"
1st man: "Nah....I was up playing my bagpipes."

Hey buddy.
How late does the band
play?
About half a beat behind the drummer.

An eight-year-old kid says
t his dad, "When
I grow up, I want to be a musician."
The dad says, "I am sorry --
can't have it both ways."

Q.How is a heart like a musician?
A.They both
have a beat :)

A down and out musician was playing his

harmonica in the middle of a busy shopping mall. Striding over, a policeman

asked, "May I please see your permit?" I don't have one,"
confessed
the musician. "In that case, you'll have to accompany
me."
"Splendid!" exclaimed the musician. "What shall we sing?"

Did you hear about the classical pianist who was

not a good speller? When she went out to buy something she left a
sign
on her door that said: "Out Chopin. Be Bach in a minuet"

A saxophone is like a lawsuit.
Everyone is
happy when the case is closed.

Q: What do you get if you cross a lamp with a

violin?
A: You get light music.

One day the bass player hid one of the

drummer's sticks.
The drummer said, "finally! After being a drummer for
so long,
now I am a conductor!"