Parent jokes

Girl: Mom, mom a monster's just bitten my foot
off.
Mom: Well, keep out of the kitchen, I've just washed the
floor.

Pride is what you feel when your kids net $143
from a garage sale.
Panic is what you feel when you realize your
car is missing.

A mother of two teenage boys, was constantly
being asked to
look for things they couldn't find. Most of the time
these items were
directly in front of them. Seeing her frustration
over this when it
happened yet again, one of her sons remarked:

"It's not my fault, Mom. I don't have 'parental vision:"

What do you
call a small parent?
A
minimum !

Father: Son at your age, Winston Churchill used

be up and out for his morning walk at 5 a.m..

Son: Dad, at
your age, he had become the Prime Minister of
England.

Father:
" I know the answer to your bad
grades. You're spending too much time
watching television."
Son:
" I'm sorry, you'll have to phrase that in the form of a

question."

Father: I want to take my girl our of this
terrible math
class.
Teacher: But she's top of the
class.
Father: That's why I think it must be a terrible class.

Old-fashioned Zachary approached Lureen's

father, intent upon asking him for her hand in marriage.

"Sir,"
he blurted out, "I have an attachment for your daughter, and
"

"See here, young man," interrupted the parent, "when my daughter

needs accessories, I'll buy them myself."

Did
you hear about the little boy who was
named after his father ?
They called him Dad !

Teddy came thundering down the stairs, much to
his father's
annoyance.
'Teddy,' he called, 'how many more
times have I got to tell you to
come down the stairs quietly? Now,
go back up and come down like a
civilised human being.'
There
was a silence, and Teddy reappeared in the front room.
'That's
better,' said his father. 'Now will you always come down
stairs like
that?'
'Suits me,' said Teddy. 'I slid down the bannister.'