Police jokes

Police Chief:
Why do you spend all your
time trying to hit flies?
Officer: You assigned me to the swat team,
didn't you?

Why do Iraqi police officers walk in threes?

The first knows how to read, the second knows how to write and the

third is to keep an eye on the two intellectuals.

Lady:(standing in the middle of a busy street)

Officer, can you tell me how to get to the Hospital?
Officer:
Just stand where you are!!!

Veronica was
practicing the piano when
suddenly there was a loud pounding on the
front door. She opened it and
found a breathless cop.

"What's the matter?!" she asked.

"Where's the body?!" demanded the officer.

"What are you
talking about?"

"We just got a tip that some guy named Mozart was
being murdered in
this house."

A man leaves a bar,
gets into his car and
drives away. 200 yards further he's stopped by a
police officer.

Officer: "Good evening sir. We're testing drivers for drunken

driving. Would you please blow into this machine?".
Man: "I'm sorry,
I can't do that. I have asthma. If I blow on that
machine I will
get out of air".
Officer: "Please come along to the office and we
can give you a blood
test".
Man: "I can't do that. I have anemia
and if you stick a needle in me
I will bleed to death".

Officer: "Then you'll have to get out and walk 5 yards along this
white
line".

Police Chief: Why
did you ticket the
computer?
Officer: It was speeding along the information highway.

Woman: Officer you must help. I've just

lost my wig.
Police officer: Certainly, ma'am, we'll comb the
area.

Motorist: Why are you crying after giving me
that ticket?
Policeman: It was a moving violation.

Police Chief: Why did you arrest
that
doctor?
Officer: He was trying to take someone's pulse.

Police Chief: Why did you tie a rope on that

criminal?
Officer: You ordered me to get a line on the suspect.