Political jokes

Q:
What has dual airbags and has lots of
room?
A: The White House.

Once a madman said, "Do you know there is a
war going
on between India and Bharat?

Another madman said,
"Why should we worry, we live in Hindustan."

QUESTION: How long does a United States
Congressman serve?
ANSWER: Until he gets caught.

A minister and lawyer were chatting at a

party: "What do you do if you make a mistake on a case?" the minister

asked.
"Try to fix it if it's big; ignore it if it's
insignificant,"
replied the lawyer.
"What do you do?" lawyer asked.

"Oh, more or less the same. Let me give you an example. The other day

I meant to say 'the devil is the father of liars,' but instead I
said
'the devil is the father of lawyers,' so I let it go,"
minister
replied.

Q: How many Marxists does it take to screw

in a light bulb?
A: None: The light bulb contains the seeds of
its own revolution.

Osama bin Laden threatened Russia:
If
you get caught up in this war... I'll hide from you
too!

QUESTION: Name the loser in the 1976

presidential race.
ANSWER: The American people.

A Congressman was once asked about his
attitude toward whiskey.
"If you mean the demon drink that poisons the
mind, pollutes the body,
desecrates family life, and inflames
sinners, then I'm against it."
"But if you mean the elixir of Christmas
cheer, the shield against
winter chill, the taxable potion that
puts needed funds into public
coffers to comfort little crippled
children, then I'm for it."
"This is my final position, and I will not
compromise!"

A small boy was
asked by his teacher,
"What is the size of the Democratic Party?"
"About 5 feet 2 inches,"
he replied promptly. "NO!" exploded the
teacher.. "I mean, how MANY
members does it have? How did you get 5 feet 2
inches?" "Well,"
replied the boy, "my father is 6 feet tall and
every night he puts his
hands to his chin and says.. "I've had it up to
HERE with the
Democratic Party!"

Why are Vampires Democrats?
They want
Gore in 2000.